UPDATE #4: December 8, 2006

"With the inefficiency and the lack of anyone knowing what is going on in activating you, it is amazing that they ever managed to invade another country!" A wise person said this to me, and I am forced to agree. The Army sent me to Georgia for training that I do not need, and now, will not send me to Illinois for training that I do need. Plus, it took them over a month to tell me where I am going, and I am still not totally clear on what I will be doing. Really though, all in all it is not so bad. I am currently living in Augusta, one of my favorite places in the US (it has the frolf headquarters of the world!), the daily schedule is far from strenuous, and I have a rental vehicle (The BEHEMOTH van) that I could sail back to Maryland in, if I needed to, so long as the Kraken does not find me.

Oh, if anyone has any good book suggestions, I would be glad to have them- I have $50 bucks in Borders giftcards to use and something like a 50 hour plane ride to the big sandbox (can I call Afghanistan a sandbox? OK, new contest- I need a clever way to refer to that
country. Winner gets, um... some spoils of war or something) so I need something to keep me occupied.

Awesomely, my boss looks just like Mike Yates if he started a severe weight training regiment. I want to get a picture of him to show those of you who know Yates, but I cannot think of a way that does not come across as kinda gay and/or weird, and I think I give off enough of both of those impressions without adding to them.

However, I have gotten some pictures of other things, so here you go:

Pigeons- Yes, this is an actual sign on the window of the building that I am training in. What more could I possibly add?
Reads:

DO NOT OPEN WINDOWS!!!
PIGEONS WILL FLY INSIDE.
THANKS.

Rifle Range- This is where I perfected my new non-lethal warfighter technique. I shoot

REALLY close, but always miss just over the target's head and a bullet going that fast past someone? Very scary! So then they will just lie down on the ground and give up. Actually, since I am such a terrible shot with a rifle, but have a pretty good throwing arm in baseball, I asked to be equipped with a handgun (which I qualified expert on, but for last resort only) and grenades. Lest you think poorly of me, the point of the grenades is just so I can peg one bad guy in the nose and then all his buddies will surrender in awe. I think it is a winning strategy.

Unfortunately they would not let me test it out on the rifle range.

Duck- This duck got angry with me when I tried to play frisbee golf in what he considered "his space." Stupid jerk duck. I think he was evil, because if Gremlins taught me anything, things with mohawks are bad news, right?

Sue- No kidding, an honest-to-God "Boy Named Sue." I love it here.

Solo Cup Factory- This is where the joy of so many football/kickball weekends begins. I tried to flip this thing myself, but they called security on me and I got maced and a bit of a hernia. I'll have the last laugh, once I find a ping pong ball factory! I was always better at beer pong anyway. Bwa ha ha!!!