I have gone from the 1700s to the 1900s with the addition of running water IN my building (tm. Stine) and am quite enjoying it. Admittedly, it has the dimensions of a nice prison cell (10’ x7’), but I am allowed out in the yard for an hour a day for exercise. Oh, and the last resident, who is currently on vacation still has the keys! Shhhhh! Don’t tell anyone, but I cannot lock my door. Ooh! And I have a great next door neighbor. He/She was considerate enough to cover the sound of him/her getting busy with some bass-heavy slow jams (possibly from the slow jams radio station, I can’t be sure.) How do I know there was busy-getting being done? Well, where I’m from, that is what slow jams plus “I’m not answering my door when you come knock to ask me to turn it down at 11pm” equals. One more important change is my appearance. You all may remember Army Pat Version 2.0. Here he is as of March 6, 2007. Smiling and relaxed, you almost expect a bluebird of happiness to settle on his shoulder and chirp a happy tune. But oh, what a difference a week can make.
Was it the peer pressure? Did the constant stress make it fall out? And what happened to the smile? And what is that crazy look in his eye? Oh man, this guy is going to need some serious therapy when he gets home.
A Soldier to Civilian translation guide will be posted soon, so those who wish to can still communicate with him when he returns home. For example, if he says “We’re going to need to adjust fire on that.” that means “We may need to rethink it and change our plan.” You can already see the need for the guide. And why am I talking in the third person? Am I to be one of those people who says things like, “The Pat is going to get his grub on.”? One can only hope not. Self five! For the big dog!
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