UPDATE 13 - January 21, 2007

Freedomland v1.0, aka The 51st State
(tm- Gluckzilla) SANCTUARY!
They moved us into a different kind of hut. It has little walls that section it off into something the size of a prison cell, and I say that as a VERY good thing. The heater works at night (less in the morning, but who cares? You just get dressed faster.) Life is gooooood! Plus, all the care packages/ Christmas presents from my mom, sister, Laura and her fam and the Baltimore crew and arrived too! Woo-hoo! Wait, you mean this is not going to be a daily thing, getting this much stuff? Aw crap.

We live in what is referred to here as The Cereal Bowl because while we are about 5000 feet high, we are completely surrounded by the end of the Hindu Kush mountain range (which turn into the Himalayas eventually) that goes up to 20000 or so, forming… well, a big old bowl. Actually, all the planes that take off from here have to turn in really tight circles until they get enough altitude to make it over. Great place for an airbase, no? Well, apparently the Russians thought so.

Other than the 8 million mines, they left some other stuff behind too, like old busted tanks and planes. But not these. I took these guys out myself. Yes sir, Medal of Honor, here I come!

When we were getting a tour, we were looking out at the countryside on the other side of the wire (the whole place is surrounded by fences and barbed wire and such) and one person said “What are those ruins out there?” Actually, that is where some of the locals live. No roof. No heat (except a fire) and landmines possibly underfoot at every step. At this point, I stopped complaining that my fingers were a little cold.
As this is a very active airbase, there are all sorts of cool planes flying over all day (and night- boo!), including my favorite- the A-10 Warthog. Yes, they really do fly this low, and it is louuuuuuud! It makes you glad they are on our side. [Warthog]
So, in what feels like an episode of the Amazing Race, every vehicle here is a manual transmission. And guess who has never owned a stick shift? Yup. So, I am learning, but I have stalled out at inopportune times more than once. Like when there was a giant Afghani jingle truck coming. What is a jingle truck, you ask? Well, let me tell you. Better yet, let me SHOW you.




They are normal trucks, but painted all sorts of colors with all manner of things like chains and scrap metal hanging off of them which jingle all the way while they pick up stuff to be delivered. And these are their regular trucks, not like their Sunday best! Actually, here it would be Saturday best, but still. Oh, and there are always at least 4 people crammed into the cab of the truck. I will never hear wind chimes again without having a flashback to a pink flatbed bearing down on me
As for my job, I feel like Homer working for Hank Scorpio. My crew is pretty awesome at their jobs, so I asked them, “You guys working hard?” They said yes. “Can you work harder?” And they did. Also, I entice them with donuts, and the possibility of MORE donuts to come. Now I just need Tom Landry’s hat. (That one is just for the Glucks. “The Denver Broncos? Awwww!” I can just hear Jason laughing now.)
OK, one last weird thing? There are no coins here on base. Like, there are little shops here run by the Army, and you can use American money, but you get coin change as pogs that say 10 cents, or 25 cents, or whatever. It is totally bizarre. I have not seen pogs for a while, and I am still waiting to get an ALF pog, which is the coolest variety. I would compare them to Disney Dollars, but we already know that Disney is not a happy name here.
Next time? Snow, Roadkill and Incinerators!
-Pat