No Dogs Allowed In The Cat Area!

As Stine pointed out, if that is not true the other way around, then that is just discriminatory, although one cat in the dog area might be a solidly traumatized feline.

Yes, we went to the Pet Expo in Timonioum this weekend, and it was awesome. From the doggie agility drills to the wee turtles, it was just a fun time. There was a miniature horse demonstration with a tiny chariot and tiny obstacles to jump over. Plus, the MC on the mike? Was totally mean to her demonstrators. At one point she definitely said "Sometimes it is the horse you have to train, and sometimes it is the trainer." But like, all nasty. I don't know, maybe you had to be there. On the plus side? Adorable golden retrievers (and every other kind of dog you could imagine)!


Also awesome? They had plates of nachos the size of a Newfoundland's head. See?

One Meat!

So, I know I am back and all, but I still may throw an Army story or two in here, you know, when I remember them, if I think they are still amusing. Here is one from Georgia, after I got back:

At the Dining Facilities in Afghanistan, you can eat all you want of everything they have. We think KBR gets paid by the pound, so of course they will do that. Well, once we came back to the states, it was "what have you done for me lately?"

The first morning, I go to breakfast and ask for some sausage, bacon and pancakes. The lady behind the counter says:
"One meat."
"What?"
"You can only have one meat."
"Why?"
"[glare]"
"Sigh."
OK, sure. Maybe it is a cost-cutting measure. Maybe it is a health thing. I don't know. But seriously? Boo.

Later that day, it was time for lunch, and what were they having? Veal parmigiana and pasta, so I say great, I will have that. I was given a breaded meat patty and dry spaghetti. "Uh, can I get some sauce on that?"
"No, that is MEAT sauce and you only get one meat, we have been over this."
"But... but... it is SAUCE. Ok, can I just have some tomato sauce then?"
"No, we don't have that."
"Sigh."

Breakfast again. I have a plan.
"Can I have some bacon and a biscuit w/ gravy?"
"No, the gravy is sausage gravy, thus meat, and as we have discussed, you can only have one meat."
"I hate you."
"Yes sir, I know you do."

Well, it's official.

http://scrubs.mopnt.com/fun/personality/

You are...J.D.
A.K.A. "The Dork"
Hello? Yoo-hoo! Hi! Say, have you been tested for Attention Deficit Disorder? You've got your head in the clouds, my friend, but it helps make you a more interesting person. Your friends may think you're a bit of a dork, and you may make the wrong decisions on occasion, but you're a sweet, happy person who's on the right track in life. You may want to hire a bodyguard, though...you're the type to attract stalkers.

Yeah, I guess I should have seen that coming. Anyone else want to share their results?

Reflections on American Gladiators

Ask anyone- I was extremely psyched for the return of American Gladiators. I figured it would either be the super cheese of my childhood ("He must have had the gods with him because no man can beat Nitro alone."), or really kick ass athletic competition. Either way, awesome. However, it turned out to be more like a mix of The Apprentice and the WWE with all the annoying things that go along with each. God-awful trash talk, pitiful announcers, sappy background stories, and endless replays of "significant" events.

Good things? I like that the winning two will be offered jobs as Gladiators for next season, should they want them. Just imagine that self-described "spider monkey" on future promotional materials. That? That's all I got.

Bad. Ok, this is going to take longer. First, you are not allowed to refer to something as someone's "signature move"on the first episode of a show. Second, the injuries- that damned toilet paper salesperson and her knee, or high ankle sprain or whatever? Shown over and over as she just bit it, with no one around her, jogging back to get a ball? Clearly she should be on a roll-about or in the Giants' backfield. Then one of the Gladiators played half of one event and was out? And of course it was Militia, the "army boy." Between him and the Marine girl that busted her head open on the fire pipe and then lost, it was not a proud day for the military. I would love it if they had snarky announcers, but failing that? Some kind of play by play. Is Joe Theismann still available? Bubby Brister? No?

Anyway, I think it is unlikely that I will be watching again other than out of pure desperation for something to do. Sorry Hellga!


Come back Malibu, Lace, Gemini, Zap, Nitro, and Sunny! We miss you!

NFL Playoffs

Man, just about nothing went right with the playoffs this week. Pretty much every team that I was pulling for lost. The exception was the Jags/Steelers game where I liked both teams (mostly by proxy for Stine and Dan) so that was kind of a wash, but really? The Giants won? Sigh. At least I am guaranted to watch either the Cowboys or Giants lose this weekend, so that is something to look forward to, right?

On the positive side of things, I had a great time watching all my teams lose, both at the McD's and Meatapalooza. I think something like 10 people were at each place, along with an excess of wonderful food. I mean, my digestive system will clearly be angry at me for a long time, because other than mutton? I think I had every other type of meat in those two days. And it was glorious. Oh, and I played Guitar Hero for the first time ever, and I am totally hooked. Am I on the bandwagon a little late? Meh. Oh, and never match up against George or Angie in that game- they are ridiculously good. I hear rumors that Angie got a 100% on one song? But that is not physically possible, is it?

Kristin and Mike's Wedding

Happy New Year everyone!
I hope you all had as nice of a time as I did at Kristin McCallum's wedding. This is the one and only picture I have of the couple (I neglected to bring my own camera, so I had to bum all my pics off of others.)
Somehow Kristin managed to talk a Catholic priest into doing a wedding in a hotel (and one connected to a skanky heiress, no less) but apparently he is retiring, so he has ceased to wory too much about some of the smaller stuff, and he totally did an awesome job.

Then, on to cocktail hour with its martini bar. Having very little experience with said drink other than "appletini, easy on the -tini," I decided to put my fate in the capable hands of George the bartender. He mixed and shook and gave me a vaguely tan colored drink that was just great. I asked him what it was, and apparently it was a "George special" which I think means "whatever was in arm's reach." I suggested this to others, but the second version did not go so well. They came back with a similar looking drink, but it seems that the vanilla vodka had been substituted by Absolut PEPPAR! It was... not good.

Following that debacle, things went very nicely. Food, drinking, dancing. Did I mention they played Thriller? I could only remember like 3 of the steps though- for shame. Oh, and there were Wedding Crashers there too- I think it was two girls? Well, Kristin totally gave them the boot, told the hotel personnel not to let them back in, and went back to having fun like it had never happened. I was totally impressed with her not letting some foolish people ruin her night.
It was an awesome time. Thanks to Kristin and Mike for inviting me, and I look forward to hanging out when you get back.

And since the fans demand it. Here is a picture of me. Oh yeah, you know you love it.